Epsom Family Highlights “Hidden” Loneliness Among Young Adults with Mild Autism
Friendship is one of life’s quiet essentials. It brings variety, confidence, and a sense of belonging. Yet for a growing number of people, that connection is missing. National estimates suggest around 7% of UK adults experience chronic loneliness — a figure that runs into the millions.
For people on the autistic spectrum, the risk can be even greater.
An Epsom couple have contacted the Epsom and Ewell Times to share their son Jon’s experience, in the hope it may resonate with others and spark a local solution. J, now a young adult, once enjoyed the structure and social circle of a youth group. But as his peers moved on to university, careers, and later relationships and family life, those connections gradually fell away.
What followed has been a pattern familiar to many families in similar situations. While services exist, they often do not meet the needs of those with milder autism [can we say “higher functioning autism”. Groups run by organisations such as the National Autistic Society tend to focus on those with more complex needs, while mainstream clubs and societies can feel overwhelming and inaccessible.
The result is a gap — one where individuals like Jon, who wish to participate in everyday social life, find themselves increasingly isolated.
There are long periods where Jon may not meet peers socially at all, spending most of his time at home with family. Yet the contrast when he does connect is striking. A simple outing — a trip to the pantomime, or even the anticipation of a game of adventure golf — can transform his mood for weeks or months, replacing low mood with excitement and purpose.
“It doesn’t take much,” his family explain. “Just a small amount of time from someone willing to meet up makes an enormous difference — not only to Jon, but to all of us.”
From this experience has come a simple idea: a local “befriender scheme” in the Epsom area.
The concept is straightforward. Volunteers — individuals or couples — perhaps of a similar age bracket – would offer a couple of hours occasionally to meet a young adult like Jon in a safe, public setting. That might mean a coffee, a meal, a cinema trip, or a game of bowling. Expenses would be covered, but the real value lies in building confidence, companionship, and mutual enjoyment.
The family stress that such a scheme would need to be properly organised, with appropriate safeguards in place. But they believe the community already has what matters most — people willing to show a little kindness.
They are now asking a simple question: is there enough interest locally to make it happen?
Anyone who feels they could offer time as a befriender, or who knows someone who might benefit, is invited to get in touch. If there is sufficient response, the idea could develop into a structured community initiative.
Contact: epsombefrienders@gmail.com and they will get back to you.